yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Houston, we have a blender
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
