i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
