Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
