She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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