what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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