You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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