so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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