just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
