i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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