Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
