she smelled like a LAN party
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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