Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
