Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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