So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
