He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
