I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's never too late to be topless.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
