I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
