Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
