He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
