I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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