Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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