OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
