Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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