Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
