you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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