I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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