Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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