Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this beer tastes like vomit already
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
