Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
