she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize