I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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