last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
