i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
