That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
