I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
