do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
