Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
