whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
