hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
