She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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