so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
