I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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