ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
