Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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