Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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