she looked like the before picture.
honey bunches of taint.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
