insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
