Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
