How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
