morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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