I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
