Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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