Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
