i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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