but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
