I'm eating all of the evidence.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
