Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
