I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
