I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I checked into jail on foursquare
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
