omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
