So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
