why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
