I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
