from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
As shirtless as possible
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My vagina is very pro this idea
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
