Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
