I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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