i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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