Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
