I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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