and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Enjoy the penises
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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