Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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