Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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