My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
