All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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