All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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