walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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