Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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