Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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