I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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