I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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